Humor subotom
-Bog je stvorio ženu u petak!
- ???
- U ponedeljak je stvorio kokošku, u utorak ćurku, u sredu patku,
u četvrtak gusku, a u petak mu je ponestalo perja.
Došao mafijašev sin iz škole, pa ga pita tata:
-I, sine kako je danas bilo u školi?
-Tata, ispitivali su nas cijelo vrijeme, ali ništa se ne brini,
nisam ni pisnuo.
Prolaze Mujo i Haso pokraj kafića u kojem je izbila tuča, pa će Mujo:
-Idem vidjeti kakva je to gužva?
Vrati se za nekoliko minuta razbijenog nosa, a Haso ga pita:
-I, kakva je to gužva?
-Ma kakvi, nema gužve, odmah dođeš na red.
Kaže jedna plavuša drugoj:
-Znaš li da karirano deblja.
-Nemam pojma, ja to ne jedem.
Uđe Mujo u ljekarnu, u njoj nema nikog, ali on ipak vikne:
-Jel' imate lijekove za smirenje?
-Koje? - čuje se glas iz susjedne sobe.
-Ja sam, Mujo, jel' imate lijekove za smirenje?
Ide plavuša ulicom, a mladić u prolazu fućne, i dobaci:
-Ej, kamo idu te lijepe noge?
-Krenule su kući, osim ako ih nešto ne razdvoji.
Plavuša na benzinskoj pumpi:
-Hoćete li zamijeniti ulje u motoru mog auta?
-Sa zadovoljstvom, koje želite?
-Ono bez kolesterola.
Pita nastavnica na satu hrvatskog jezika Ivicu:
-Reci nam što su to prilozi?
-Kečap, majoneza, luk, ajvar…
.
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